weary acceptance of the inevitable

But I don't know if I'll actually follow through. You see, for the past week and a bit, no matter what tarot or oracle deck I pull a card from, they all have the same essential message: REST, GODDAMMIT. You know, that thing I'm terrible at, even tho' I encourage other people to do it. 

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I wish the Stroppy One was more interested in wandering through thrift stores and antique malls. I always explain to him that it's not about buying things, it's about window shopping and finding really weird things. But no, he's not interested. Drat. (Tho' I do need to look into taking the occasional Tuesday or Tuesday early evening off, because that's the day of "senior discount" at the local Discovery Shop and Value Village, and hell yes I want to take advantage of that.   

Tuesday was "wake up with a pray for a coma" migraine, as in I tapped out of work the moment I was able to focus my eyes on the Slack app on my phone, then passed out for a few more hours. Then went downstairs, had food and coffee, took meds, and spent the rest of the day drifting in and out of sleep.

Which means, of course, that today is the rebound migraine; it's not overwhelmingly painful, but oh, the brain fog and vertigo. And I have two different sets of release notes that need to be cleaned up by the time I log off tonight, whee.

One good thing was today was migraine Botox day, so that'll take care of one breed of migraines. But that meant I lost time during the work day, and there's those release notes, and everyone who had rush projects last week are off at a customer expo this week which means no one is getting back to me with review notes and UGH. It's only Wednesday, but this week has been forever.   

- During one of my recent thrifting outings I found a copy of The Velvet Room, a Zilpha Keatley Snyder book I don't remember! With a fantastic pink cover, no less.



- Remember me mentioning that the neurosurgeon back specialist referred me to the targeted physio side of his team? I hadn't heard from them by last Friday, so I called, went through the labyrinth of call options, and finally spoke with someone who could schedule an appointment. The earliest they could find was June 11th. I'm unhappy, but the Stroppy One is LIVID. We started this process in Nov./Dec., and I've gotten some suggestions but no real help. I'm going to see if I can speak to someone about what will be discussed at the June 11 appointment and if we can make sure I get the targeted injections in my hip at that appointment, because ...

- We're going to the UK at the beginning of July. This means a lot of walking, and we want to make sure that I'm not in pain the entire trip. I'm still going to bring a fuckton of muscle relaxers with me.

- Related to the trip: During our last visit, Thea mentioned her mobility scooter and how it's made all the difference for her being able to do things. This prompted the Stroppy One to very gently bring the up the possibility of me renting one for the length of time we'll be spending in Edinburgh. I said that I understood that it could help me and we should look into it; I sat there for 10-ish minutes getting more and more upset, then burst into tears and said I didn't want to be that fat American on a disability scooter with no obvious disability. The Stroppy One said he understood and that he had been expecting me to have a freakout over that exact thing. (!!!) So that's a thing we need to discuss more, and hopefully I won't have a complete meltdown.

"But Jilli, you go out walking around, what makes you think you wouldn't be able to while on vacation?" This is true, but I generally don't do that every day, and when I do go out and Do Things, I usually end up taking muscle relaxers and pain meds when I get home AND spend the following day resting. So yeah, this is a big concern and the Brain Raccoons are determined to make me miserable about it. Ugh.